


Somebody To Love

by mdelpin



Series: I Take Pride In What I Am 2019 [2]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Crushes, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Families of Choice, First Kiss, Friendship, Loss of Parent(s), M/M, Prompt Fic, Running Away, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, ftlgbtpride2019
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 10:16:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20080537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mdelpin/pseuds/mdelpin
Summary: When Natsu goes to the Fairy Tail Guild on July 7th looking to drown his sorrow in alcohol, he never expected Gray would be there for him. After Gray kisses him unexpectedly Natsu will have to figure out his feelings for the ice bastard he's only ever thought of as a friend.





	1. Been Meaning to Say Hi

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Oceanewave](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oceanewave/gifts), [watcher_ofthe_sky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/watcher_ofthe_sky/gifts).

> When I participated in this event I didn't expect to end up with a multichapter story and now that the event is over I have decided to move it into its own space. If you didn't get a chance to read it yet, I hope you like it!
> 
> I would like to gift this story to Oceane and Watcher-ofthe-sky to thank them for all their support. I love you guys!

Prompt: “Been Meaning to Say Hi” 

Pairing: Gray x Natsu, Cana & Loke & Gray 

Natsu had been in a funk all day. He couldn’t help it. Today was the anniversary of the day Igneel had abandoned him, leaving him to wake up in a field alone and lost. With no idea what to do or where to go. He’d stayed on that field for days, letting the rain pour over him until Makarov had found him and offered him a home. 

Ever since then, that day had become difficult for him. During the rest of the year, he was able to keep most of his negative feelings at bay. But on this day without exception, he felt bewildered by his loss, and it was just too much. 

He used to take solo missions to have an excuse to leave Magnolia for the day, but quite often they ended in disaster and after he'd almost gotten himself kidnapped Gramps had forbidden him from going out on his own on this day. 

Usually, he would just hole up in his house, thinking about Igneel until he made himself cry. Happy knew to leave him alone, and Mira would bring him food and leave it on his doorstep, usually with a sweet note. 

This year for some reason, the thought of being alone didn’t appeal to him. He wanted to be around people, even if he wasn’t feeling particularly social. So he decided to go to the guild, despite knowing it was probably not a great idea. 

Natsu opened the doors quietly, nothing like his usual entrance, so no one noticed his arrival. Most of his friends weren’t there, they’d probably gone out on jobs knowing better than to ask him to come along. 

He trudged over to the bar, making the snap decision to drink the day away. It's not something he ever did, and he had no idea if he could even get drunk. His elevated body temperature burned through both alcohol and poisons quickly, it was a side effect of his Fire Dragon Slayer magic. But maybe if he drank consistently, he could manage it. 

He drank glass after glass of fire whiskey, ignoring the concerned looks he was getting from both Mira and Cana. 

“Slow down, Natsu,” Mira chastised, “You’re not used to drinking like this, you’re going to make yourself sick.” 

"I'll watch him," Somehow without him realizing it, Gray had sat next to him, "Give me one of whatever he's drinking." 

“I don’t need you to- to,” Natsu stared at Gray trying to remember what he was trying to say as Gray watched him, eyebrow raised in amusement. “Babysit, yeah that’s it!” He said proudly. 

“Never said I was,” Gray replied, “I’ve never seen you drink this much before, I thought it might be amusing.” He took a swig from the drink that Mira had put in front of him. 

"Ugh, this tastes awful, how do you drink this shit?" Gray turned to Mira, "Vodka, and keep them coming, please." 

Mira pursed her lips, unhappy at the idea of having both Natsu and Gray drunk in the guild but she nodded. 

“I like it,” Natsu shrugged, “It feels warm in my belly.” 

"So how come you're drinking anyway?" Gray was studying him intently, and it made Natsu feel uncomfortable. He could see the concern in the deep blue eyes, and it freed something inside him, a feeling he wasn't familiar with. It confused him, and he broke the gaze before Gray could notice. 

“July 7th.” 

"Oh shit, I'm sorry! Is it that day already?" Gray's shoulders slumped, and he looked sad, and that helped soothe away some of Natsu's hurt. 

“It’s fine, I don’t expect anyone to remember,” Natsu looked down at the bar trying to figure out why Gray was affecting him so strangely today. 

“Uhm, do you want to talk about it or something?” 

Natsu shook his head, talking was the last thing he wanted to do at the moment. “Drink with me?” 

Gray grabbed his cup and raised it, “To Igneel.” 

Natsu allowed him to clink it against his own glass as he repeated the toast, “To Igneel.” 

They spent hours drinking glass after glass, and soon they started to talk as the alcohol loosened their tongues. Cana and Mira tried to keep a subtle watch over the two volatile mages, but so far they were getting along. 

Currently Gray had gotten Natsu to tell him stories about his time with Igneel, and they were both laughing hysterically slamming the palms of their hands on the bar. Gray managed to slip off his stool, and Natsu almost lost it. 

He knew Gray was much drunker than him, but he liked seeing the usually distant mage loosen up, it allowed him to observe him without Gray realizing it. 

He started doubling down on his drinks, wanting to enjoy this feeling of closeness and peace. He was having a great time! 

xxx 

_Two hours later  
_

"Why did he leave me behind?" Natsu was having trouble putting his words together, and Gray thought he looked like he was about to cry. 

Hearing Natsu's words was painful, they were an echo to the words that he often thought regarding his own parents and Ur. He hadn't expected to be this affected, but Natsu had never reached out to anyone on this day before, and it ignited some of the feelings that Gray had been struggling with for the last few months. 

He knew it was just a coincidence that he'd happened to show up when he had, but Gray was glad that he'd gotten to see this vulnerable side of Natsu, without the aggression that would typically accompany it. 

"Was I not enough?" There was no hiding the tears this time, and Gray just wanted to convince him that he was more than enough. That Igneel's disappearance couldn't possibly have been his fault because if there was one thing that resounded in every one of Natsu's stories, it was the love the fire dragon held for his human son. 

“You were more than enough,” Gray tried to assure him. 

“Then why did he leave me?” Natsu gazed at him, eyes begging him for an answer. 

Gray wished he had an answer that would give Natsu the peace he craved, but he was too drunk to come up with anything. All he had were the feelings that had been raging inside him, and before he even realized what he was doing, he was leaning his face closer to Natsu's until their foreheads were touching. 

Gray could hear Mira and Cana cooing over them, but he ignored them, focusing only on soothing away Natsu's hurt. It was all he'd planned to do, but once he felt Natsu cradle his head on his shoulder and snuggle into him instead of pushing him away, he stopped thinking. He rubbed Natsu's back in gentle circles. 

When Natsu finally moved away to stare at Gray in wonder, there was something in his eyes Gray had never seen before, and like a magnet drawn to its opposite, he felt a pull towards Natsu. He licked his lips before pressing them against Natsu's slightly chapped ones. He could feel Natsu responding weakly before pushing him away, hard. 

“What are you doing?” Natsu yelled as he wiped his hand across his lips. 

Gray’s thoughts fought with each other for control, but no explanation was forthcoming. He was horrified that he’d taken advantage of Natsu’s grief to throw himself at him. 

"Why did you do that?" Natsu demanded again, and by now, everyone in the guild was staring at them open-mouthed. 

How could he lie after he’d already done such a horrible thing? He braced himself for the violence that was sure to ensue and answered honestly, “B-because I’m in love with you.” 

Natsu stared at him with a guarded expression, but he didn't say a word, just turned and ran out of the guild. 

"Natsu!" Gray yelled after him, but he knew better than to follow. He'd fucked up, and now he would have to give Natsu time to figure out how to deal with him. “I’m sorry,” Gray whispered. 

“Well, that was one way of telling him,” Cana sat next to him. 

"It's not funny," Gray snapped, hiding behind his bangs as best he could as he tried to ignore his guildmate's commentary on what had just happened. 

“I know, honey” Cana cradled him against her while he felt a presence he recognized sit next to them. 

“Where did you come from?” Gray muttered in annoyance. 

"Oh you know, here and there," Loke replied vaguely, "I'd been meaning to say hi, so I dropped in. Looks like I picked a good time too." He gave Cana a questioning look as he took in Gray's misery. 

“He finally confessed to Natsu,” Cana said it quietly but Gray could still hear the amusement in her voice. 

“Damn it, I missed it!” Loke whined before asking eagerly, “Did Natsu punch him?” 

“I fucking hate you guys,” Gray complained, moving away from Cana and banging his head on the bar. 

Loke chuckled before grabbing him by the arm and pulling him up. “Come on lover boy, let’s get you out of here. Cana, you coming?” 

“Yeah, might as well.” 

Loke led them to Gray’s apartment where they could talk in relative privacy. 

_To be continued..._


	2. But I'm Tired of Hiding My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu's mind was still reeling from the events of the night before. He wanted to get away from any chance of possibly running into Gray for the foreseeable future. At least until he could get figure out what the hell was happening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** “But I’m sick of hiding my heart”  
**Pairing:** Natsu x Gray

Natsu arrived at the guild early the next morning grabbing the first job he saw that sounded like it would be far away and would give him the biggest chance to fight monsters. He didn’t bother to look at any of the details. His mind was still reeling from the events of the night before. He wanted to get away from any chance of possibly running into Gray for the foreseeable future. At least until he could figure out what the hell was happening. 

He showed Mira the request, waiting to be given approval and immediately scowling when it wasn’t forthcoming. 

“I can’t let you take this job alone,” Mira protested, “It’s too dangerous, I’d feel more comfortable if you took someone like Gray with you.” 

“Hell no!” Natsu crossed his arms in front of his chest, “I don’t need that stripper’s help.” 

“Well if not him, then Lucy or Erza.” Mira insisted. 

“I’ll go,” Both mages jumped surprised to hear Loke offer to go on a job. 

“Loke?” Mira studied the Celestial Spirit carefully, “Doesn’t Lucy need you?” 

“She’ll be fine without me for a day or two,” Loke waved away Mira’s protests, “Besides, I’m still a Fairy Tail wizard and I haven’t gone on a job in ages. So how about it, matchstick?” 

Natsu couldn’t really understand why Loke would want to come along, they’d never been particularly close but he was a good fighter and if he had an ulterior motive Natsu couldn’t think of what it was. He relaxed and decided he didn’t care as long as he could get out of Magnolia before Gray got to the guild. “Suit yourself.” 

“I guess it’s alright as long as Natsu is fine with it,” Mira agreed grudgingly, not entirely sure what Loke might be up to, but seeing no good reason to deny his request. 

“Great!” Loke cheered and as they began to walk out of the guild he asked, “Isn’t Happy coming along?” 

“No, I’d been hoping to go alone.” 

“I see,” Loke smiled internally, having a good idea what was bothering the dragon slayer but knowing better than to bring it up too soon, “Something on your mind?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Natsu snapped. 

“Where are we going anyway?” Loke asked and Natsu showed him the job request. 

They made their way towards the train station, Natsu itching for a fight and Loke being annoyingly agreeable. 

Xxx 

Gray woke up nursing the worst hangover he’d ever experienced in his life. All he’d done was move his head and now his stomach was rebelling and his mouth felt like it was covered in sand. But that was nothing compared to the feeling that someone was stabbing his head with a knife. He sat up slowly, cradling his head between his hands. He couldn’t stop himself from groaning out loud. 

“Not feeling so good, huh?” Cana shoved a glass in his face that smelled surprisingly of the thing that got him there. 

“No more vodka,” Gray groaned again as he shoved the glass away from his nose, “How can you be drinking already?” 

“The best way to get over a hangover,” Cana shrugged, drinking the contents of the glass when Gray refused it again. 

“I need to go find Natsu,” Gray moaned as he got up from his couch where it appeared he had passed out the previous night. 

“I wasn’t expecting you to be so eager,” Cana mused, watching him with slight concern. 

“I’m not, I just want him to knock me out so I don’t have to feel like this any longer.” 

Cana chuckled, “Let’s get you some food and then we can figure out what you should do.” 

“I already feel sick, don’t you think it’s cruel to feed me your gruel?” 

“Oy! I know I should be insulted but you’re probably right,” Cana mused good-naturedly, “Are you up to going to the guild?” 

Gray sighed, “I’m going to have to go there eventually. Let me just take a shower.” 

Twenty minutes later Cana and Gray left his apartment and headed for the Fairy Tail Guild. 

Xxx 

“So Gray kissed you last night, huh?” Loke had waited until the train had already started moving to bring up the topic, knowing Natsu would be at his most vulnerable. 

The smirk on his face was enough to make Natsu want to punch him into next week but he was too weak from motion sickness to do so, so he attacked the only way he was able. He emptied the contents of his stomach all over Loke’s impeccable suit, wiping the smirk off the Celestial Spirit’s face and replacing it with a look of disgust. 

“You could have just said you didn’t want to talk about it you know,” Loke complained, frustrated when Natsu remained silent, although he could have sworn the fire mage was smiling in between moans. 

Xxx 

“How are you feeling, Gray?” Mira asked as she watched the ice mage sit on a stool wearing sunglasses. 

“I may never drink again,” Gray replied seriously. 

“Well here’s some ice water, I’ll go make you some breakfast.” 

Gray thanked her and looked around the guild to see who was around. He saw no sign of any of his teammates and as much as he didn’t want to appear desperate he also really needed to know how Natsu was doing so when Mira returned with his food he had to ask. 

“So, uhm, by any chance has Natsu been by this morning?” He asked as nonchalantly as he could manage. 

“Natsu?” Mira grinned knowingly, “Oh yes, he went off on a job with Loke.” 

“That’s a funny way to say Lucy, for a moment there I thought you said Loke,” Gray laughed uncomfortably, hoping against hope that he’d heard Mira wrong. 

“That’s because I did say Loke,” Mira smiled up at him, innocence in her smile but a devilish glint shining in her eyes. 

“Huh. Hey Mira?” Gray lay his head down on the bar knowing that if things hadn’t been bad before he was now truly and completely fucked, “Can I go ahead and have a drink now?” 

Mira tried to stifle a laugh as she and Cana shared a knowing look. She poured Gray a drink and handed it over and he downed it quickly. He was about to order another when he heard the door burst open as Erza walked in screaming his name. 

His headache protested but he knew better than to say anything, he just waved at his red-headed friend. She immediately charged in his direction. 

“Did you defile Natsu in the guild last night?” Erza demanded loudly. 

“What?! Of course not!” Gray yelled out in indignation, quickly looking to make sure no one was around before whimpering as his head throbbed, “Who the hell told you that?” 

“It’s all over Fairy Hills.” Erza explained, “Juvia won’t leave her room, I left Lucy with her to try to calm her down.” 

_Oh yes, this day was just getting better and better._

“Well, then what _did_ happen?” Erza stood over him, the intensity of her glare not even remotely dimmed through his sunglasses, her fingers twitched, itching to requip a weapon but attempting to exert self-control. 

Gray looked down at the floor and mumbled nervously, ”I may have kissed him, and told him I was in love with him while incredibly drunk.” 

Now Gray knew how protective Erza was of Natsu. She had taught him to read and write and since then she’d proclaimed herself his big sister much like Natsu had done to Wendy. Gray was fully expecting Erza to come at him when she learned he’d touched Natsu in any way that was not part of a fight, so he was surprised when she didn’t immediately attack him after his confession. 

He waited as she studied him seriously before suddenly and quite unexpectedly erupting into loud guffaws quite unlike anything he’d heard from her before. After a few minutes spent holding her belly and wiping away tears, she finally calmed down. 

“Are you done?” Gray, who had not found her reaction amusing in any way, groused at his friend. 

“I’m sorry,” Erza replied not looking remorseful at all. “Well, how did he take it?” 

“He turned away and ran out of the guild.” 

“Well, you didn’t pick a great day for it, did you?,” Erza pointed out while ordering a slice of strawberry cake and motioning for Gray to follow her to their team’s table. 

“I wasn’t exactly planning on it,” Gray snapped before softening his tone as he remembered who he was talking to, “It just sort of happened.” 

“Take off those ridiculous glasses, it’s not that bright in here,” Erza grabbed the sunglasses off the bridge of his nose and placed them on the table before smiling at him. “That’s better.” 

Mira came by with Erza’s cake and sat down next to Gray, while Cana sat on his other side, wine glass in hand. Gray found himself surrounded by three of the most terrifying women in the guild who seemed intent to either make fun of him or help him with his fledgling love life, he couldn’t quite make out which. 

“Now tell us all about it,” Erza demanded, her tone bossy. 

“You wouldn’t understand,” Gray muttered under his breath. 

Mira put her hand over his and said kindly, “Try us, when did this start?” 

“I don’t know, a while ago, but after Galuna I was sure.” Gray rubbed his temple trying to will his headache away. It was hard to have a serious conversation with the constant pounding in his head. 

Erza smiled, “I guess I can see that, it was a very emotional time for the two of you. What are you planning to do about Juvia?” 

“I can only handle one headache at a time, Erza.” 

Cana snorted, “I think the more important question is what are you going to do now? Natsu is not exactly the easiest person to talk to about anything serious.” 

Gray groaned, “Based on what Mira said he’s avoiding me, which means he doesn’t feel the same way.” 

“You don’t know that for a fact,” Erza reminded him, “Natsu has a hard time with feelings, and July 7th is a hard day for him. You literally couldn’t have picked a worse day to hit him with this.” 

“I’ve already told you,” Cana reminded him, “Give him time to figure it out, he might surprise you.” 

“And Loke is probably trying to help your case as we speak,” Mira giggled into her hand. 

“Loke?” Erza asked with interest. 

“He went out on a job with Natsu,” Mira informed her girlfriend. 

Erza tried her best not to laugh, not wanting to make Gray feel any worse, but Cana had no such qualms. Her laughter rang out next to Gray’s ear making him so annoyed you could see a vein bulging in his forehead. 

“You know what? Fuck it,” Gray decided, “I’m glad I told him, whatever happens, happens but I’m sick of hiding my heart from him.” 

“That’s the Gray I know,” Erza encouraged him proudly, “You’ll have a fight and you’ll sort it out.” 

“I’m surprised you’re taking this so well,” Gray puzzled, “I was sort of expecting you to be mad.” 

“Oh, we’re not done by a long shot,” Erza assured him, her aura once again turning dark, “If you start dating Natsu, we’re going to have a talk.” 

Gray gulped, okay at least things were normal there. They spent the rest of the afternoon trying to help him come up with ways to talk to Natsu once he was ready. He was feeling a bit better when the door burst open and Loke entered carrying Natsu in his arms. 

Both were bickering and Gray was able to see that Natsu was bleeding severely. 

He and Erza both got up and rushed over to their teammate although they quickly moved back when they got a good whiff of Loke’s clothes. 

“What happened?” Erza barked at Loke who looked decidedly nervous. 

“N-nothing,” He stuttered, having been on the receiving end of Erza’s anger several times before. 

“Nothing, my ass,” Natsu hollered, “He wouldn’t stop talking about the Ice Prick, we got ambushed by the mages that were controlling the monsters we were sent to destroy.” 

Loke tried to meet Gray’s eyes but the ice mage only looked away, angry that he’d been responsible for Natsu getting hurt unnecessarily. 

Meanwhile, Natsu was trying to avoid his gaze which was not exactly giving him the warm fuzzies, even though he understood. 

Gray figured it was best if he found an excuse to leave the guild so Natsu could be more comfortable. “Loke, take Natsu to the infirmary, I’ll go find Wendy. And for Mavis sake, change your clothes, you reek.” 

Loke looked miserable but he did as he was told, carrying Natsu up the stairs with Mira and Erza following. 

Gray walked over to Fairy Hills, looking for the youngest dragon slayer. He knocked on the door and waited for the dorm mother to answer, but to his chagrin, it was opened by none other than Juvia and Lucy, who were apparently on their way to the guild. 

“Gray-sama,” Juvia wailed, holding on to his arm and begging him to tell her that the rumors weren’t true. 

_Fuck! _He managed to ask Lucy to go find Wendy so she could take a look at Natsu before being forced to calm down Juvia. 

This just wasn’t his day. 

_To be continued..._


	3. Are We Just Friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: “Are We Just Friends?”  
Pairing: Gray x Natsu

Natsu Dragneel was not in a good mood, in fact, he was as far from a good mood as he could possibly get. First, Loke had not let up about Gray the whole time they had been on their disastrous job, and that was most definitely the last time he took Loke on a job with him without Lucy. 

He couldn’t understand how Cana and Gray could have possibly enjoyed it when they were a team. When Loke wasn’t trying to build Gray up or get Natsu to admit to feelings he wasn’t entirely sure about, he was openly talking about his conquests, including men. 

Natsu was now armed with more knowledge about gay relationships and sex than he’d ever wanted to know. To be honest, at this point, he just wanted to keep Loke as far away from Gray as possible. And that in itself confused him. He’d been grateful when Gray had offered to go get Wendy because he just wasn’t capable of looking at him at the moment. 

To make matters worse, he was stuck in the infirmary with an apologetic Celestial Spirit, a doting Mira and an Erza that was just acting... weird. It was irritating. Ugh! Why the hell did Gray have to say that to him? 

Natsu closed his eyes, trying to block everyone out, but when he did that he was accosted by the memory of Gray kissing him, and the knowledge that before he'd freaked out, he had most definitely kissed him back. 

And he didn't know what it meant. Was he in love with Gray too? Was he just surprised at being kissed? It's not like anyone else had ever kissed him before, not like that. He'd shared a few pecks with Lisanna, but he hadn't really felt much, and he was pretty sure she hadn't either. 

_Dammit!_

He stiffened as he scented Wendy entering the guild, but relaxed again when he could only smell Lucy and Happy with her. Wendy entered the infirmary and asked everyone to leave so she could examine Natsu properly. 

"Thank you," Natsu smiled at Wendy, who only nodded, keeping her expression impassive as she looked at his injuries. 

“I thought you might like to be left alone for a bit,” Wendy smiled sweetly, “It’s been an exciting day around here.” 

“Exciting?” Natsu pouted, always unhappy to miss anything that might be fun. 

“Mhm,” Wendy mumbled, now content that the injuries were nothing too serious she began to use her magic to heal Natsu. 

“How did you get all these anyway?” Wendy commented as she worked, “These types of injuries are unusual for you.” 

“We got ambushed,” Natsu volunteered, “I got in the way of a few hits that were meant for Loke.” 

“Loke?” Wendy stopped for a moment, her features scrunched in confusion, “I didn’t realize he went on jobs on his own.” 

“He doesn’t usually,” Natsu explained and then muttered under his breath, “I should have realized what he was up to.” 

“Up to?” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Natsu smiled, then remembering some of the things that Loke had said he quickly added, “Just promise me you’ll never go on a job alone with that guy.” 

Wendy looked surprised by the request, but she agreed. "Natsu-san, can I ask you something?" 

“Sure, kiddo what’s up?” 

“Are you and Gray-san together?” 

“Not you too!” Natsu whined, “Why would you think that?” 

"There was a lot of talk at Fairy Hills today, people were saying you and Gray did something, but they wouldn't tell me what it was." 

Natsu groaned, why was everyone in this guild so damn nosy? “Nothing big happened,” Natsu assured the healer, “I swear, people in this guild need to mind their own business.” 

“So Gray-san _didn’t_ tell you he loved you?” Wendy stared at him with wide innocent eyes and an impish grin, the combination disconcerting to Natsu. 

There it was again, those words that were wreaking havoc with his entire system. He wanted to deny it, but of all the people in the guild, Wendy was the one he couldn't lie to. 

“He might have said something like that,” Natsu muttered, scratching the back of his head in exasperation. 

“Do you love him back?” Wendy waited for his answer with obvious excitement. 

"I," He took a deep breath, admitting the words out loud was physically painful to him at the moment, "I don't know." 

“Oh,” Wendy looked saddened by his reply. 

“What’s wrong, Wendy?” 

"Nothing, I just," Wendy caught his gaze and refused to let go of it, "I was just hoping that you loved Gray-san back because I think he's loved you for a long time and he's very kind, and I think lonely." 

“What do you mean he’s loved me for a long time?” 

"Why else would he reject Juvia?" Wendy pointed out with a roll of her eyes, "Do you love Lucy, then?" 

Natsu sighed, knowing that was part of the problem he was facing, “I do love Lucy, but not like that. More like I love you or Erza.” 

Wendy nodded sadly, “So you don’t want to hurt Lucy or Juvia by admitting how you feel?” 

"What?! Hey, I see what you're doing!" Natsu protested, folding his arms across his chest. "Don't go putting words in my mouth, you've been spending way too much time with Mira," He said accusingly before reiterating, "I said I don't know, and I mean I don't know." 

“Fine, fine,” Wendy put her arms up in a gesture of surrender. 

'Where is the Icicle anyway?" He didn't like to admit it, but as much as he didn't want to see the ice mage, part of him was disappointed that Gray hadn't come to see how he was doing. 

“He stayed behind to talk to Juvia,” Wendy informed him before patting him on his knee, “You’re good to go, but don’t overdo it.” 

"Yosh! I'm all fired up! Thanks, Wendy, you're the best!!" He gave the blushing girl a big hug before getting up from the bed and looking for some clothes to replace his blood stained ones. 

Xxx 

Gray stood in the Fairy Hills garden, Juvia still attached to his side. She hadn’t let go since Lucy had left with Wendy. 

"Juvia," He began bravely before looking into the depths of her eyes. There was so much hope in them, and once again he felt terrible for not being able to return her affections. It certainly would have made his life so much easier. 

But Gray was not one to hide from tough situations, and as much as he didn't want to hurt his friend, he couldn't let her continue to waste her life away in pursuit of him. He wondered briefly if this might be the way that Natsu felt about him but quickly shook the thought away. He'd have an answer sooner or later, Natsu would not extend this for long. 

“Juvia,” Gray began once again, this time bracing himself for what was to come. “I told you a while back that I would give you my answer, and I think you’ve waited long enough.” 

"Yes, my darling?" Juvia looked nervous and excited, but there was also something else hiding in her expression, and for the first time, Gray thought that maybe she already knew, had always known that her love was unrequited. 

Juvia was an amazing woman, of that he’d never had a doubt. He couldn’t help who he was any more than she could. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m in love with someone else,” Gray made sure to look into her eyes, he wanted there to be no doubt as to his feelings after today. He hoped that once she understood, she could move on and find love with someone who truly deserved her. 

“But, but how can Gray-sama be so sure if he never tried to love Juvia?” 

“Juvia, I’ve been in love with the same person for a long time now,” Gray explained firmly, “I finally told him yesterday.” 

“Him?” Juvia cried in dismay, “So it’s true? Gray-sama loves Natsu-san?” 

Gray closed his eyes and nodded. He waited for the inevitable mocking or tears and was surprised when they never came. He opened his eyes to see Juvia studying him thoughtfully. 

"Does Gray-sama like women at all?" Juvia asked, and Gray could hear some vestiges of hope in her question, so he was quick to dash them. 

“Not sexually or romantically, no,” He admitted honestly, it was a fact he’d known about himself for years even though he didn’t make a point of bringing it up to others. 

"Do you mind leaving me alone for a bit?" Juvia asked pleasantly, but he could see the storm brewing behind her eyes, and he got up quickly, wanting to give the privacy she was asking for. 

“Goodbye, Juvia,” Gray gave her one last smile before turning away and heading back to the guild. 

“Goodbye, Gray,” 

Gray pretended not to hear the way her voice broke on this new version of his name, just like he pretended to ignore the drops of rain that fell on his naked torso. With everything that had gone on, he wasn't even surprised to have lost his shirt. He was happy Juvia seemed to have taken things so well. He really hoped they could become friends. 

Gray made his way back to the guild slowly, he wanted to make sure Natsu was okay, but he also wanted to think about what his next step was. If nothing else, he knew he could live with a lifetime of pining after Natsu, but if his feelings ended up being one-sided, he didn't want their friendship to suffer because of it. 

He wished he’d waited for a better time, that they’d been able to talk about it calmly, although considering who Gray was in love with that idea was laughable. It would most likely only be discussed after many punches and kicks. But that would have been fine, it was who they were. 

The same thought kept playing over and over in his mind like a broken record. 

_Are we just friends, or could we be something more?_

Gray stood in front of the guild door, he could hear Natsu inside being his usual loud and lively self. He worked his courage up, opened the door, and walked inside. 


	4. First Time He Kissed a Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natsu finally confronts his feelings about Gray and what happened on July 7th.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt:** First Time He Kissed a Boy”  
**Pairing:** Gray x Natsu

The first thing Gray saw when he entered the guild hall was Natsu arm wrestling Elfman, a carefree smile on his face, their table surrounded by other members of their ragtag family. Bets were written on a board, and Cana was collecting jewels, while Gajeel seemed to be awaiting his turn, yelling encouragement to Elfman while trying to psych Natsu out. Happy's cheerful support could be heard loudest of all. 

Things had seemingly gone back to normal. If nothing had happened the previous day, Gray would have made his way over, shouting encouragement at Natsu while warning him not to make their team look bad. 

And Natsu would have smiled at him and told him he was all fired up, and it was in the bag, or something cocky like that while Gray let the heat from that smile warm his otherwise cold body. But yesterday _had_ happened, and Natsu was avoiding him. Gray didn't want to make things more awkward between them than they already were, so with a heavy heart, he made his way over to the bar to join Loke and Lucy. 

“Why don’t you kiss him, Elfman?” Gajeel harassed Natsu with a resounding gihi. “He’ll just run home like a scared little girl.” 

“A real man doesn’t resort to trickery,” Elfman responded, his voice strained as he attempted to overpower Natsu without resorting to one of his beast arm takeovers. 

Natsu, however, was not amused. To the dismay of everyone who had bet against him, he promptly defeated Elfman, getting up from his chair with enough force to topple it on its side. Overcome by rage, he headed straight for Gajeel, “You think that’s funny, asshole?” 

Natsu shoved Gajeel as hard as he could, making the large dragon slayer careen into one of the guild's walls. As soon as Gajeel righted himself, he came at Natsu, both fists at the ready. 

“What the hell’s your problem, afraid you liked it?” Gajeel taunted, thrilled to have gotten under the Salamander’s skin. 

That was too much for Natsu, Gray could see the outrage in the eyes he knew so well, how could he not when he'd been reading them since childhood. But he saw something else too, and it startled him. Natsu looked unsure, and that was very unusual. 

Natsu managed to exercise restraint, stopping himself from punching Gajeel as he so clearly wanted to do, opting to mutter, “You’re not worth it.” before exiting the guild with Happy, the door slamming behind them. 

Gajeel shouted at Natsu through the door, “Just like a little girl.” 

Gray was pissed. Great, there went his idea of letting things go back to normal before approaching Natsu. He got up from his bar stool and charged towards Gajeel, “What the hell did you do that for?” 

Gajeel sneered at him, “What, now you’re going to fight your little boyfriend’s battles for him?” 

Gray didn't bother to respond with words. Instead, he punched Gajeel in the stomach, causing him to double over. Gajeel straightened up, glaring at Gray while turning his body into iron and approaching him menacingly. "I was just playing with him, it's not my fault he's so sensitive. But if you wanna have a go, I'm ready." 

“Dammit Gajeel, this is already hard enough without your bullshit,” Gray growled, “Just back the hell off.” 

“You will both stop this foolishness this instant,” Erza scolded, placing herself between the two mages. 

“I ain’t one of the two fairies, I’m not scared of you,” Gajeel snapped. 

“Would you like to have a go?” Erza’s smile was amused, but there was no doubt as to the seriousness of her challenge. Erza never volunteered to fight in the guild, she was usually the one to put a stop to it. 

Gajeel considered her challenge for a moment before quickly backing down. He put his arms up in a mocking gesture of surrender and turned away. 

“By the way, Gajeel,” Erza waited until Gajeel stopped to look at her and pointed at her guild mark, “We’re all fairies.” She chuckled at the scowl on Gajeel’s face before going off in search of Mira. 

“No sense of humor,” Gajeel complained before going to ask Elfman if he wanted another match. 

Cana had finished distributing all the winnings and came over to where Gray was still standing, nudging him to follow her back to the bar. She put a bunch of jewels in a bag and handed it to him. “Here are Natsu’s winnings, why don’t you take them to him?” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Gray remarked, “You saw how he reacted, I should probably stay away from him for a while.” 

“That’s a terrible idea,” Loke chimed in, ready as always to offer his advice. 

“I’m still mad at you, you promised me you’d stay out of it,” Gray reminded the Celestial Spirit, “What the hell did you tell him anyway?” 

“Do you really want to know?” Loke grinned, waggling his eyebrows. 

Gray thought about all the things Loke could have possibly told Natsu and shuddered. He’d been on the receiving end of Loke’s conversations enough times to have a pretty good idea. “Nevermind.” 

They remained in amicable silence until Lucy spoke up. "If anyone should be upset here, it's me. Why wouldn't you tell me?" Lucy looked down at her hands, refusing to let Gray see her expression, "I thought we were friends." 

Gray flinched at the sadness in her voice, but he answered her honestly, “Given how you feel about him, I...uhm, didn’t think you’d want to know.” 

“Oh,” Lucy replied, her voice small as she admitted. “I didn’t think you knew.” 

Gray didn’t have the heart to tell her that everyone in the guild knew how she felt about Natsu, except perhaps for Natsu, and that was only because they’d threatened Happy countless times to keep it to himself. 

Gray sighed, “I’m sorry, Lucy. I never really planned on telling him.” 

"No, don't apologize!" Lucy protested, finally looking up, and despite the tears welling in her eyes, she managed to smile at Gray, "If you love him, he should know.” 

“Shouldn’t you also tell him then?” Gray pointed out, not feeling comfortable with how the conversation was going. 

Lucy bit her lip, “I don’t think that’s a good idea, besides I’m fairly sure he doesn’t feel the same way.” 

“You know Lucy, I’d be more than happy to show you a good time,” Loke piped in with a grin. 

“Stay away from her!” Gray and Cana exclaimed in unison, making Loke chuckle into his drink. 

Cana waited until Lucy left to go talk to Levy, to bring the topic back up, “You really should go talk to him, if you don’t do it soon you’re just going to end up beating the crap out of each other.” 

“I don’t know…,” Gray hedged, realistically he figured that was going to happen anyway, it’s how they communicated. 

“Tell you what, why don’t I do a reading for you?” Cana feigned innocence as she grabbed her cards out of her purse. 

Gray snorted, "Riiight, like I'd trust you with those." He took a deep breath, and before he could change his mind, he reached his hand out for the bag of Natsu's winnings. 

“That’s my boy,” Cana cheered, placing the bag in his hand, “Go get your man!” 

Gray rolled his eyes at his friend. 

"If you want my advice," Loke began, but Gray covered his mouth with a thin sheet of ice. 

“Don’t finish that sentence,” Gray waved obnoxiously at Loke as he tried to talk around the ice. He left the guild in search of Natsu. 

Xxx 

Natsu had left the guild with no clear direction in mind. He was pissed, he’d been having a good time, had even managed to get his mind off what had happened with the Ice Princess for the first time that day, but Gajeel had to go and ruin it like he ruined everything. Stupid iron freak. 

He stopped, trying to decide where he wanted to go, his earlier injuries had been mostly healed, but they were still a bit uncomfortable. He was deep in thought when he felt Happy nudge him. 

“Natsu, what’s wrong?” Happy was watching him, his eyes big and searching. 

“What do you mean?” Natsu had no idea what his Exceed was referring to. 

"Back at the guild, it felt like you were overreacting," Happy explained, he knew Natsu had a temper, but he usually didn't act that way with his friends, and even though he and Gajeel didn't always see eye to eye, they were still friends. 

“Oh that,” Natsu replied sheepishly, “I just have some stuff to think about.” 

"Wanna talk about it?" Happy's eyes glimmered with hope at the thought of being helpful, and Natsu couldn't help but smile at his partner. 

"Not really," Natsu said honestly, but when he saw Happy's crestfallen expression, he was quick to add, "But I still have to, I can't avoid it forever." 

“Aye, sir!” Happy agreed, although he still had no idea what was going on. 

Natsu looked around to get his bearings and realized he'd unconsciously been walking towards Lucy's apartment. _Stupid! _Lucy was the last person he should be talking to about this situation, as much as he would appreciate her advice, that would be unfair of him. 

The sound of the running water was managing to ease away the remainder of his anger, and he decided to just sit on the edge of the canal for a bit. Happy settled on his lap, staring up at him. 

"So, what happened?" 

Natsu looked down at his Exceed, touched by his obvious concern. As much as he took care of Happy, it always surprised him how much he got back in return. He hugged Happy to his chest before letting go and thinking about the Exceed's question, what _had_ happened? 

"You know that July 7th is a rough day for me," He began, smiling as the Exceed nodded gravely, his eyebrows scrunched in concentration. 

"Well, yesterday I didn't feel like being alone, so I decided to go to the guild, I ended up drinking a lot, and then Gray showed up, but he wasn't as big of a prick as usual," Natsu smiled, he'd liked that part. 

As much as he enjoyed their little rivalry he’d noticed he really enjoyed the quieter moments they’d been having during jobs as well. Being on the same team with Erza had forced them to pretend to get along and somewhere along the way it had stopped being an act for him. 

During their time on Galuna Island, Natsu had gotten a glimpse of a Gray he’d never really gotten a chance to know before. It had surprised him how much Gray had managed to hide from them throughout the years, but it also explained so much about who Gray was. 

There might have been some feelings that had started then, feelings he purposefully never thought about, knowing full well their relationship was already complicated enough. 

He noticed Happy looking at him impatiently and realized he’d been quiet for a while. What had he been saying? Oh yeah! 

"Anyway, we started drinking, and he asked me to tell him some stories about Igneel, so I did," Natsu continued, remembering how much they'd laughed. He tried to visualize what Gray's face had looked like then, if there had been any indication of what was going to happen, but he'd been drunk enough to not have a clear recollection. 

"I'm sorry I missed that," Happy piped up earnestly, "I love those stories!" 

"I know you do buddy, maybe I'll tell you some later," Natsu petted Happy, still feeling serene. 

“I don’t get it Natsu, nothing you’ve said so far is bad.” 

"I'm not done," Natsu reminded him, Happy nodded, continuing to wait patiently for Natsu to tell his story. 

"Anyway, I don't remember what set me off," Natsu scratched the back of his neck, deep in thought, "But we'd kept drinking, and I guess talking about Igneel so much, it made me miss him that much more, and I started to get sad, and Gray...Gray tried to comfort me." 

“That was nice of him.” 

"Yeah it was, but when he tried to comfort me I… I don't know, it felt right? It's been a long time since anyone showed me they cared like that, so I let myself hold on to it, and that's when it happened." 

And looking back, if Gray was really in love with him, then Natsu had certainly been sending him mixed signals at that point. His cheeks reddened as he remembered how he’d nuzzled up against Gray. 

Why had he done that? Had he wanted something more to happen? 

All he knew was it had felt good to just let go, to let Gray make him feel worthy of being loved. To allow Gray's scent to wash over him until he was just as drunk on it as he was on the ridiculous amounts of alcohol he'd ingested. When he'd finally let go, there was something more he'd wanted, he'd looked at Gray with eyes full of it... 

“Natsu,” Happy whined impatiently, “What happened?” 

Natsu shook away the thoughts he’d been having, avoiding Happy’s curious gaze, “Gray kissed me.” 

“GRAY KISSED YOU?” Happy screamed, too shocked to even go into his teasing trademark. 

"Not so loud," Natsu hissed, eyes quickly darting to see if anyone had heard. 

“Gray kissed you?” Happy whispered comically, immediately covering his mouth afterward. 

Natsu rolled his eyes in response to Happy’s antics but nodded. 

“What did you do, did you punch him?” Happy asked knowingly. 

“No, I, uhm sorta kissed him back before pushing him away,” Natsu admitted, he could feel it coming, could almost see the internal struggle Happy was facing. 

“You looooooooooooooooove him!” 

“Shut up, I do not!” Natsu harrumphed noisily as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

"I think Happy's right," A soft voice spoke from behind him, and Natsu didn't have to turn around to recognize Lucy. He'd forgotten where he was sitting, and now he didn't know what to do. Water tended to dampen his sense of smell, he'd never sensed her coming. 

Lucy sat next to him, watching him for a few minutes as if making her mind up about something. It made Natsu even more uncomfortable than he already was. 

"It's okay you know," Lucy surprised him with her words, especially considering the feelings he knew she held for him. 

“What do you mean?” 

"I mean, it's okay to like other guys, even if they are Gray," Lucy tried to inject some levity, but it was too much, she only managed to look slightly pained. 

“I don’t know,” Natsu repeated for the, well he’d lost count really of how many times he’d tried to impress that on others. 

“Well, keep going, what happened after the kiss?” Lucy urged him. 

“I don’t really think that’s a great idea considering…,” Natsu cursed himself for his stupidity, he shouldn’t have said that. 

“Considering what? My feelings?” Lucy held his gaze valiantly, but Natsu could only look away. 

"You don't have to pretend anymore. It's okay that you don't feel the same way. I think, maybe, I've always known," Lucy said calmly, adding with a sad smile, "But you're still my friend, and I want you to be happy, so let's work this out 'cause let's face it, you're terrible at feelings." 

She laughed at her words, and it was a real laugh even if it was quiet, and Natsu could only whisper _I’m sorry_ as he put his arm around her in a half hug. 

Lucy closed her eyes, letting herself enjoy Natsu's warmth, it wasn't what she'd hoped for, but she knew his affection for her was real. 

She couldn't ask him to fake something he didn't feel just to make her happy. She knew that as unlikely as it seemed, Gray and Natsu were right for each other. They understood each other better than anyone else, and she'd noticed how they'd sought each other out more and more since Galuna, she'd just somehow failed to connect the dots. 

Lucy nudged him, "Come on, spill it, what happened after the kiss?" 

"I asked him why he'd kissed me, and he told me it was because he was in love with me," Natsu got the words out as quickly as he could, hoping that if he did so, they wouldn't affect him as much. No such luck. 

“And you ran away?” 

Natsu nodded, knowing there was no point in denying it. 

“Why did you run away?” 

"I don't know, it was too much to take in, I guess. Yesterday was supposed to be about Igneel, and I wasn't prepared to hear that." 

Lucy thought about Natsu's words and felt something was missing, she could almost glimpse it, but it still eluded her. 

“I shouldn’t have told you like that, it was wrong of me,” Yet another voice surprised him from behind. How many times had he been ambushed today? 

Damn it, he really needed to stay away from water when he was upset, one of these days it was likely to get him killed. 

“Can I sit down?” Gray asked, not wanting to force himself on Natsu again. 

Natsu looked up at the reason for all of his confusion and sighed. He was too tired to fight. It had been a long ass emotional day, so instead, he patted the spot on the other side of him. 

Gray sat and handed him a bag full of jewels, “Cana wanted me to give these to you.” 

"Thanks," Nasu replied, setting the bag down next to him. His heart and mind were full of uncertainty as he gazed upon the person he'd spent most of the day avoiding. 

Lucy could feel the tension in the air, “Wow, look at the time! Happy, why don’t you come home with me?” She grabbed the Exceed before he had a chance to protest, waving goodbye to her teammates before hurrying home. 

“Listen,“ Gray began, looking down at his hands as he flexed his fingers into the patterns he used to strengthen them for his maker magic, “I was drunk and not thinking properly. You’re right, yesterday _should_ have been all about you and Igneel, and I shouldn't have made it about me and my feelings. That wasn't fair of me." 

“And I want you to know, it’s okay if you don’t feel the same way or even if you don’t know what you feel,” Gray assured him in an even voice, “I don’t need an answer today, I’ve had months to think about this. I know I just sprung it on you. ” 

Natsu watched Gray intently, listening to his every word but also letting himself really look at the man sitting next to him. The fit body he continually sparred against, the mind he loved to share insults with, the deep eyes that always made him wonder what he was thinking. 

Except Gray was being open with him for once, no insults, no games, just honesty. He was still talking, but Natsu had stopped listening, too intent on trying to figure himself out. 

“Why did you kiss me?” Natsu interrupted suddenly. 

"I was drunk, and I wasn't thinking," Gray repeated. 

“Don’t give me that, I’m the impulsive one, something made you do it.” 

Gray gazed at the boats that were traveling on the canal as he thought about what had really possessed him to kiss his rival. “It was something in your eyes, It felt like you wanted me to.” 

Natsu thought about it and came to the conclusion that Gray was right. Maybe it hadn't been a kiss that he'd wanted but the love that came with it. The love Gray had shown him since the moment he'd sat down to drink with him. 

Gray had managed to get through to him, and he'd done it on Natsu's worst day. He'd made Natsu believe he was worthy of the kind of love he'd felt with Igneel. 

Gray had accepted Natsu as he was from the very beginning. Never attempting to change him, Gray had engaged him time and again, in all the ways Natsu understood best. 

The panic Natsu had felt on Galuna when he'd realized what Gray was planning on doing had been like no other feeling he'd ever experienced before, barring waking up to find Igneel had left him behind. It had been the realization that if he let Gray cast Iced Shell, he'd be losing a part of himself that he considered more important than anything else. 

And that's when it hit him, the reason he'd been so confused about whether he might be in love with Gray or not was that he'd already been in love with him for a while. He'd just never given a name to it. Natsu thought with embarrassment of all the shameless taunts and fights he'd engaged in just to keep Gray near. He'd acted in ways that were even more obvious than Lucy, and he couldn't help but wonder how many people had figured it out before he did. 

“Do it again,” Natsu demanded, catching Gray completely off guard. 

“What?” Gray answered dumbly, confused by whatever the hell was going on inside Natsu’s head. 

_Screw it!_

Natsu ran his fingers through Gray's hair tugging it firmly as he pulled the ice mage towards him. He pressed his lips against Gray's, who was still too confused to respond. Natsu didn't let that bother him, he closed his eyes and nibbled Gray's bottom lip, excited when he felt Gray join the kiss. It was the first time he had kissed a boy, and he found that he really liked it. They separated a moment, the position they were in too uncomfortable to continue for long. 

Gray gazed at him, one eyebrow raised as he seemed to be asking what brought that about. 

'You were taking too long," Natsu complained. 

“Are you sure about this? I told you, I don’t need an answer today,” Gray reminded him. 

“I know, but why wait when I already have one?” Natsu grinned mischievously. 

"Let's get out of here," Natsu grabbed his bag of earnings, feeling its weight to see how much money he had. "You hungry?" 

Gray nodded,still baffled as to what was happening. 

“Let’s go,” He grabbed Gray’s hand and squeezed it, warning him, “I’ve never done this before, and I’m not great with feelings.” 

“Neither am I, ” Gray replied, returning Natsu’s hand squeeze, “But I’d like to try it out.” 

They began to make their way towards the business sector of town, walking hand in hand but not saying much, both trying to figure out what they were doing and how not to fuck it up. 

They walked past a bakery that the girls of the guild loved to frequent, not noticing Cana, Mira, and Erza sitting at their table near the window. Mira and Cana smiled happily at the peaceful look on both men's faces, not noticing that Erza had left their table. 

“GRAY!” Erza charged after them. 

"Oh, dear," Mira laughed at her girlfriend's antics. 

"Should we go stop her?" Cana asked although she wasn't particularly in the mood to chase after them. 

"Nah, I've learned it's best not to get in between those three, they understand each other quite well," Mira said as she continued to eat her slice of cake calmly. 

Outside, Natsu and Gray finally heard Erza screaming after them, and when Natsu stopped to see what she wanted, Gray tugged at his hand desperately. 

“What are you doing?” Gray yelled, “Run, you fool!” 

Natsu looked at him uncomprehendingly, so Gray pulled him behind him as he made a run for it. 

“Get back here Gray, I told you if you started dating Natsu, we’d have to have a talk!” 

Natsu began to laugh, finally understanding what was going on. 

“Stop laughing you moron, you’re slowing us down!” Gray complained desperately. 

But he couldn't help it, so Gray left him behind as Erza charged after him, weapon in hand. Natsu laughed and laughed, watching his friend and boyfriend run through the town. 

Yes, he'd lost Igneel, and it had hurt, and he'd most likely never know why. But what he'd gained in Igneel's place wasn't bad. No, it wasn't bad at all! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I almost feel the need to apologize for how long this came out. This is my last entry for this event, it was really fun and I hope people enjoyed what I did! I look forward to reading the other entries. :)
> 
> I'd also like to let everyone know that GrayxNatsu Week 2019 has announced, it will be running from July 16-22nd. For more information check out their collection [here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/Gratsu_Week_2019).

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I didn’t like either of today’s prompts so I did another one for yesterday. This will be probably be continued in either "But I’m sick of hiding my heart" or “Are we just friends?” or both who knows *shrug*. Hope you like it.


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